Thursday, June 24, 2010

8 days left

I would like to pat myself on the back. It has been 39 weeks as I have lived as a mother, wife, student, and a teacher, and I did pretty well. I should be proud of myself but now I am scared.

First of all, I am facing to new era of my life, and I know being a parent and its following responsibilities are quite overwhelmed.

Second of all, I am also so hesitating for what I should do for future. I've always wanted to be a MD and Medical missionary, however, now what? I am a mother and wife, can't pursuit my own goal. I should be able to picture that I and my family can make it together. Time to sacrifice for family as a responsible grownup. Actually, more than that, I think I am scared to be faced to patient who really needs help. I am not ready. I mean, I am not mature enough to be a doctor who gives help unconditionally. Honestly, I am lack of everything to be a doctor. Oh well, okay. More honestly though, I am more interested in working in the lab. I did not realize that I am more like lab person.

Lastly but not least, I would like to study more............
But what about my family?? hmm

Yeah, I am so hesitating and confusing where I should add step forward.